What the fuck, America

The preliminary election results are in; Trump leads Clinton, 288-215.

You only need 270 to win.

What the fuck. 

Now, get this. I hate how underhandedly the DNC orchestrated her into being the Democratic nominee. I hate that Bernie was recognized by my generation as being the one guy with an ounce of integrity, the one fit to represent the Democrats in a bid for the White House. I hate that after he was cheated out of his chance, my next best hope, Gary Johnson, didn’t know what Aleppo was, let alone where, let alone the crisis that has been happening over the past few years.

I hate that Trump is the best we thought we could do tonight. I hate that as the rest of the free world moves toward gender and racial equality, my country just decided to take 15 steps back and remind me, yet again, that I am second class citizen and my body is not my own.

I hate that we, as a nation, failed to draw the parallels between a narcissistic demagogue and a fascist leader who promulgated the same fucking rhetoric in the 1930s.

I hate that I have to go in tomorrow and face down the living embodiments of all the ideals which have held me down and told me I wasn’t good enough or reminded me how my gender made me soft, emotional, incapable of doing the work I do. I hate that if I ask for space or respect or just to be left the fuck alone, they will either fault my generation or my sex; nevermind that this election was intensely personal to me.

Nevermind that I am a woman; how about my grandparents who were immigrants?

Or both of my grandfathers, who served in the Army and the Air Force? Or me, who still serves?

How about the man that raised me, who is Mexican?

How about my nephew, who is half-black?

Or that I’m a quarter filipino?

Or that I have two daughters, one of whom is already being ogled by disgusting old men? SHE’S FUCKING EIGHT.

Why? How could you do this, America? How could you elect a misogynist, a racist, an ignorant, classless, philandering, lying, failure of a man as our Commander-in-Chief? Even with the mirror to your nose you don’t see how ugly you are.

Maybe he is you. But he isn’t me. He will never represent me.

 

She returns

About 15 years ago, when I was a spunky teenager, I would often find myself embroiled in political and religious discussions with anyone who felt like they could go toe-to-toe with me. To say that I lack social graces is an understatement. Even now I find little wrong with asking someone who they’re voting for or why they hold particular religious or political ideas.

During my time living in Tennessee, I was often quieted. I didn’t speak my mind about issues because I would often feel as if I, personally, was under attack. It never quite felt like information-sharing between two opposing ideologies; almost always the other party was set to dismantle or discredit my person, rather than my argument. This is still true.

I’ve returned to Nashville briefly, only to find myself facing the same sets of people – but I am slightly better armed this time.  But that fact is moot, it really doesn’t matter. I am a woman, a feminist, and a bit left of center – so people may think that it’s easy to take me on. It’s easy for a white, middle-aged, middle-class man to assume that I am angry when I contend that Trump is misogynistic, racist, foul-mouthed hypocrite – when really, all I am is impassioned.

I am passionate about embracing feminism and womanhood; I am passionate about encouraging individual growth and breaking glass ceilings; I am passionate about equality across the board; I am passionate about compassion, about ensuring that we all are given the same opportunity to reach our potential; and I’m passionate about ensuring the world my children grow up in is a fairer, more tolerant one.

I’m not trying to change people set in their ways; I’m only trying to be heard, so that if anything someone, anyone can understand that there is more than one perspective out there and that whoever is chosen to lead our country embraces all of our different paths of life. It’s important for all peoples to be represented in government; I, for the life of me, cannot see how Trump is that person.